29 Captivating Thoughts

We demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God, and we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ.

2 Corinthians 10:5

2nd April 2024

As a maths teacher, I am fascinated by the way numbers and patterns interact. One of my favourite examples are tessellations, where maths and art collide. Tessellations are specific shapes, that when repeated create visual patterns without leaving any gaps. Escher is one of the more famous artists who use tessellating shapes to create images which often defy perspective. It is possible to see different representations and perspectives within one picture.

I was reminded of this recently, as over the past few months some of the neuropathic symptoms I have been experiencing seemed to have become increasingly worse. Without going into detail of this and giving to much attention to the negatives, I found myself having moments of panic that the condition was deteriorating very quickly. I was having to decrease my activities and increase my medication, which was leaving me very tired the following day.

About a week ago, I was on a zoom call with my dear friend. We were discussing my symptoms, amongst other things, and she asked me where in my body did I sense my spirit connection to Holy Spirit. I had no idea really. So the following morning, I sat up in bed and mediated on The Lord and asked him where in my body, I could sense his presence. Nothing happened; there were no sensations highlighted in a specific area. However, I kept getting the image of God’s hands over the junction of my spine where my neck meets my shoulders. I sensed him saying, ‘This is where I am; where I have always been.’ Oh wow! All these weeks when I felt like symptoms were worsening, you’ve been there at point of the injury all this time. You never left.

If that was the case it begged the questions, ‘If your hands have always been on my neck, why are the symptoms increasing? And what are you doing there?’ I have yet to have a clear answer to that as there are a number of reasons, including those which don’t centre around me alone. Having said that though, I still have peace with healing through surgery.

Recently, Joaquin Evans and his team from Bethel, Austin Texas came to Eastgate for a conference. One of the many things he mentioned was people being set free from neuropathy. So I claimed this. He also told a story in which he experienced tingling in his legs and he said that when he experienced tingling in his legs, he knew he was about to have a ‘God encounter’. That also struck me and I pondered it for a while. I asked Joaquin to pray for me and I received an image of God doing some very fine and delicate embroidery in my neck.

Later, as I was prophesying for someone, God highlighted the pattern on her dress, which I have attempted to replicate here, although not exactly. You can see that while the shapes fit together, they are also multi-directional. I felt God was saying that while we see things in a particular way, there may be other perspectives as well. With Holy Spirit’s help we can open our eyes to seeing experiences and situations with different perspectives.

As I considered this, I started to wonder if my symptoms were actually neuropathy or, in fact, evidence of a God encounter. Was the tingling in my hands and the other sensations in my body actually an indication of God encounters rather than neuropathy. Now I have no way of knowing for sure, as the sensations can be similar. But here’s the difference. I have now decided to think of the tingling, the numbness and whatever other symptoms may occur as evidence of God’s presence at work in my body. I am now declaring that they are not really symptoms of neuropathy but are instead, evidence of God encounters happening.

The last three months have been a steep learning curve as I get to grips with converting my blogs into podcasts and animated videos. I have spent a considerable number of hours at the laptop working on the various tasks involved in rolling out this project. As I am typing now, the tip of my finger is completely numb but I am choosing to say that this is evidence of God helping me with this writing.

The symptoms have not really improved or gone yet but I now choose not to focus on them negatively.