25 War Games

8th December 2023

Preparations for Christmas are in full flow now. Our busy schedules carry on. Especially for Geof because his technical skills are always in demand for pantomimes and outdoor Christmas services. They are continuing as normal. I am glad that he has something else to focus his attention. And I am carrying on with my job, although my hospital visits are paused until I have a risk assessment done.

I have had this bizarre need to do the housework, which I haven’t been doing for sometime because I don’t feel it’s a good use of my physical abilities, when they need to be rationed. When I get into a house cleaning zone, my family tend to give me a wide berth as it can mean I am on the war path and angry about the state of the house. This has been something different. I have had the need to hold on to some skills as much as possible for as long as possible. I have a long handled bath cleaning sponge and a new broom and mop. I need to do these chores as an act of defiance even if it means I only type with one finger on my left hand. I won’t peel vegetables though. I draw the line at that. Chips and wedges are skin on and carrots only get a good wash. And I don’t load myself with stuff when I go up and down stairs.

Last Sunday in church I had my flags of course. There were some unfamiliar songs and I decided not to sing but to worship with my flags and my body instead. Worshipping with flags through dance is not just worship for me. It is a conduit through which God releases Heaven into the room and onto all who are present. It is also an act of defiance in the face of adversity; using my body and actions to declare what my heart and mind may struggle with. It is warfare; drawing the battle lines; a declaration of where I choose to put my faith and trust. It is polishing and putting on the armour.

T was preaching that day. It was a very encouraging message which include hope of restoration for those with health issues. Just one word. Restoration. That is going to be my one word for 2024. When I went forward for prayer, it was suggested to me that I should meditate and ask God what that Restoration is going to look like. I have not been able to set time out to do that yet but God is already on the case. Watch this space.

The next day I shared with my wonderful Women Warriors prayer group the full extent of my health situation. To give you a visual image of how this group operates, imagine I am a pack of cards which have spilled out. These powerful praying women come alongside and scoop me up and tap me back into place, turning the upside down thinking the right way up. Anything that is poking out and should not be is gently slid back into order. They give me scriptures, pictures and incredible words of encouragement but most importantly of all they never let me wallow, no matter what is going on in their own lives. They nip negativity in the bud and affirm me with truth and declaring God’s goodness and miracles. They were pivotal in shifting my thought processes.

One lady shared that as she watched me on Sunday, worshipping with my flags, the Lord showed her a spinal column from top to bottom. He told her to pray for me and that I am healed in Jesus’ name. The God of Restoration has taken over. The Merciful Lord is on my side.

Wow. Come on Lord.

Yes, there is some reduced function in my hands. As long as I have my balance and I can walk, everything carries on as it did 3 weeks ago. My reality is that I still have considerable function and very little of my life has actually changed at this point. That shift in my thinking has been key to not carrying a prognosis around like shackles.

In the space of time it took from my hospital visit to now, I have been through a whole range of emotion and thought processing. Finally, things have settled down and I can get on with the everyday business of life. Christmas gives me something outside of myself to think about and while I transition into next year.