12 Dance again

January 2022

Over the following days, I made a concerted effort to live and function as normally as I could. I thank God that unlike so many with a similar condition, I was not experiencing any severe pain. My symptoms continued to be paraesthesia. I also experienced a niggling stabbing pain at the base of my neck, as though a bone was digging in, exactly where the clasp on a necklace or clothes label would sit. I found this unbearably irritating, mostly because it was so localised and didn’t affect any other part of my neck and therefore felt very sharp. Having seen MRI pictures of my spinal cord months later, I now understand that this was probably the site of the actual spinal damage.

At church one Sunday in January, I was chatting to S about how I was doing. He offered to pray by humming over my neck because he felt there was healing power in the resonance of humming. Although quite unusual, I was not in the least bit phased by this. If I had learned anything by now, it was that nothing with God was formulaic and to be open to the God of the unusual. After he prayed, or I should say, hummed, I felt absolutely no difference. Disappointed I thanked him and went off to chat to L. My lower back started to niggle just below my waistband.

I was not surprised by this as I knew that the MRI as an had revealed disc bulges in this area too. This time L offered to blow on it and I suddenly realised that the sharp niggling pain in my neck had gone. To this day this discomfort has never returned and I have been able to wear necklaces and have stopped cutting the labels out of my clothes.

L blew over my lower back and I did feel relief. I thanked her and rushed off to find S again to tell him about my neck.

By mid January 2022, I was resolved to live as normally as possible. At the same time I realised that I had to pace myself as I would suddenly without warning, experience muscle spasticity in my legs and limitations with my left hand. More than that, I found the neuropathic symptoms very uncomfortable as it always felt as though I had been plugged into an electrical socket or the poor man in the Operation game.

Having done some research on medication, I approached my GP for something to help the neuropathic symptoms and I was prescribed Amitriptyline. This drug comes in 10mg and 25mg tablets and my doctor informed me that I can self medicate up to 30mg. I started on 10mg and found that this gave me increased functionality before I reached my limit. Over the next few months I steadily increased my dose up to the maximum 30mg. This gave me a significantly greater level of functionality before spasticity would come on in my leg muscles. Walking was difficult and caused my legs to ache and I was using my stick to steady myself. I was able to do light household chores and resume my creative hobbies, including sewing.

My goal was to learn how to make clothes from patterns. But most of all I was able to dance a little, not much but it was better than nothing. For me, there is nothing that compares to the joy of dancing in worship.