Letting The Cat Out Of The Bag

Thursdays can be funny days. They are often filled with unexpected moments. Why are Thursdays so different? On Thursdays, I do not go to work. Fridays used to be my day off but now it is Thursdays because that’s when I go to college for my Level 3 Counselling training. In like Thursdays to begin leisurely, with a lie in, listening to a podcast or teaching from Bethel Church in Redding, California. Then once I am ready, breakfasted, Thursday chores completed and Unique has been packed off to school, I allow myself some time to soak in worship, clearing space in the living room to worship through dance.

On this particular Thursday, naturally, the plan did not go to schedule. On the last day of year 6 SATs exams, events took an unexpected turn. Geof was working from home and had made an early start by occupying his usual place on the living room sofa in front of his laptop and was soon engrossed in his work. So I took the opportunity to get ahead with my Thursday chores.

As Unique was about to cross the threshold to make her way to school, having been standing in the lobby for an inordinate amount of time after unlocking the front door and talking to the cat, I thrust a carrier bag of rubbish into her hands and asked her to pop it into the outside bin. I shut the front door with a satisfactory sigh and then quickly reopened it again to remind her to drop it into the correct receptacle. There she still was, standing on the step, bag in hand and with the most curious but undecipherable expression on her face – somewhere between uncertainty and surprise. After giving her lengthy instructions about avoiding dripping rain water onto herself and the after school arrangements she hurried off to school.

My day at college passed uneventfully and when I returned home, Geof was still working hard but was in need of a lie down due to having a headache.

Guinness

Then at the expected time, Unique and her friend E returned from school and I made them both snacks before they headed off to the local park. After asking about their day at school, Unique launched into an incredible account of what had happened that morning. While at E’s house in the morning, before they left for school, E’s mother heard a strange mewing sound downstairs. Thinking that one of our cats or someone else’s had slipped into the house, she searched the area where she could hear the noise.

How surprised she was to discover our black cat Guinness inside Unique’s schoolbag. Questioning Unique on how this could have happened, E’s mum was told that he must have jumped into her bag when she wasn’t looking and she that she thought her bag was heavy because it was full of books. Both she and E then walked him back home before continuing on to school.

As Unique recounted this story to me, suddenly all the curious incidents in the morning began to make sense, particularly her confusing behaviour on the front steps. Suspecting that she had deliberately placed the poor cat in her school bag to elicit an interesting reaction at school, I asked her straight out if this was what she had done. Oh no, she insisted, she could never do such a terrible thing to poor Guinness, who was like a brother to her (?).

What would have happened, I asked her, if, on opening her bag at school, Guinness had jumped out in fear and run away or worse, run into the road in front of a bus.

A few minutes later, E’s mum turned up, not only to tell me her side of story but also how she was convinced that Unique had done it deliberately because of how she responded and the look of guilt on her face. Her behaviour became awkward and uncomfortable which also convinced me of her guilt.

Later that evening, after discussion with Geof on how we were to handle this tricky parenting moment, we sat down with Unique and discussed the whole shenanigans, focusing on how fortunate the cat was to have avoided danger. Although we struggled to believe her, we reluctantly decided to give her the benefit of the doubt in the face of her insistence of her innocence. The alternative was to outright accuse her of lying, saying we didn’t believe her, and risk doing more damage than good if she were telling the truth.

Part of me feels that she has got away with it. But on the other hand I am not sure any punishment would have been appropriate. The whole issue of lying was something I will have to deal with another time.

That night I prayed that God would speak to her through her conscience and that he himself would help her to realise and understand the seriousness of what she has done; that in time she will confess what she had done. For us, I asked that God would give us the wisdom to know how to respond to situations in the future and to know how to teach her about honesty.

8 If we claim to be without sin, we deceive ourselves and the truth is not in us. 9 If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness. 10 If we claim we have not sinned, we make him out to be a liar and his word is not in us.

1 John 1 (NIV)

Most importantly, our relationship with our daughter is still in tact, although somewhat battered. We are more guarded and wary of her behaviour, which is a consequence of the damage to the relationship. I know that some of you reading this post, will have your own view on how we should have dealt with this, but with God’s grace we will learn from any mistakes that we have made.

Postcript: Having read this post at age 16, Unique has now made a full confession.